For those of us in menopause, remembering often becomes the focus of our thoughts.  As it turns out, remembering is a sign of the "doing" mode!  Whew!!!  Can let that go!  Recalling the last time you enjoyed yourself so much or reminiscing about a romantic evening are something we need not concern our self with.  Taking your mind back to the past, whether anxiously, regretfully, pleasurable or with any other emotion takes you out of present time being. Instead, strive for living in the moment.  "Being here now" and not engaging with any thought of past or future is where it's at.  Turns out there are some benefits to menopause!

Welcome to week five of "doing vs. being".  "Reacting" is when you show involuntary responses to experiences rather than pausing to consider your response.  An example is when you give someone a hug when they start crying, or protest on hearing a lie that someone is telling.  Instead, try this: "responsiveness".  Not reacting to any unwanted inner or outer distractions of thoughts or sensations. Just simply notice what you are feeling and then let those feelings drift away.  I recognize that this may be hard for those of us who feel such empathy for others and reaching out is our natural response, but I challenge you, if you are one who feels other's pain, just take a brief moment to notice what is going on for you before you reach out and give that hug.  You can still do what is natural for you, but just take that brief moment to reflect.  Next week: "remembering" vs. "living in the moment."

This week's clue that you are  "doing" vs. "being" is that you engage with feelings and relive the story you tell yourself about those feelings.  Feeling angry with your neighbor or wondering why the guy who cut you off while driving can be so thoughtless, means you are inhabiting emotions and reliving the narrative behind them.  Instead, try this.  Try not getting absorbed into an emotion or every unwanted thought that happens to cross your mind.  Distance yourself from the thought and it's underlying story and emotion.